The Emotionally Intelligent Way to Resolve Disagreements Faster

I suggest reading the whole article.

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-emotionally-intelligent-way-to-resolve-disagreements-faster?utm_source=pocket-newtab

Fast Company | Josh Davis, Hitendra Wadhwa
This article was originally published on July 24, 2018, by Fast Company

Josh Davis, PhD, is the author of the international best-seller Two Awesome Hours. He is faculty and senior director of research at the Institute for Personal Leadership, and he teaches “The Art of Public Speaking” at the NLP Center of New York.

Hitendra Wadhwa, PhD, is professor of practice at Columbia Business School and founder of the Institute for Personal Leadership.

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What should you do? What you should’ve done much earlier: Find something—anything—to agree on, as long as it’s meaningful.
Agree on Something (Other Than the Solution)

It’s natural during conflicts to feel you have to prove that you’re right, but this only escalates things. One party may give in, but it will be at the expense of wasted time, energy, and morale. However, a surprising thing happens when you take the opposite approach. By finding some common ground as soon as you detect the first signs of tension or conflict, you can start working quickly toward a mutually agreeable solution.

There’s always something true in the other party’s thinking. It may be their intention, premises, logic, concerns, or the factors they’re weighing.

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When you find a way to agree with something other than the solution to the problem you’re debating, you can shift the frame of the conversation to include a factor you both see as true and relevant. That makes it easier for the other person to lay down their arms and stop fighting. Instead, they start listening.

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There’s one more, often unexpected result of this approach. Agreeing tends to bring out the best in other people, but it can also bring out the best in you. By pushing yourself to find common ground, you can shift your own thinking in a more collaborative direction, too. A little more flexibility and understanding–on all sides–is surely a good thing.