3 Lies We Need to Stop Telling About ‘Negative People’

When I see those suggestions to not have anything to do with people who are "negative", I think of the fact that many/most of the young people who do mass shootings have been treated like that.

I suggest reading the whole article at the following link:

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/04/lies-about-negative-people/?utm_source=SocialWarfare&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=SocialWarfare

April 25, 2015 by Sam Dylan Finch

•••••

There is a pretty noticeable trend in self-help these days – categorizing people as either happy or unhappy, with nothing in-between. In this binary, positive people (or those who aspire to be positive) are encouraged to distance themselves from people they see as “negative people.”

This is a narrative that we’re told time and time again – that “negative people” are burdens that dampen our lives and worsen our problems, and that we should all try to be positive.

But stigmatizing negativity often feeds into saneism – or the oppression of people with mental illnesses – because any stereotypes or generalizations about “negative people” will inevitably hurt people who have depression, since they’re often considered one in the same.

It’s reasonable – and often necessary – to cut ties with people who are abusive or toxic. But there’s a difference between removing people from our lives because they’re causing us pain, and ostracizing people who are in pain because we feel overwhelmed or put off by it.

So when we’re talking about “negative people,” we need to be clear about what we really mean. And that’s the problem with the language around “negative people” – it’s unclear at best and harmful at worst.

When we push forth damaging stereotypes and encourage the isolation of folks with depression, this is no longer about self-help. It’s really about hurting and ostracizing people who are struggling.

•••••

2. We Would All Be Happier If We Just Cut ‘Negative People’ From Our Lives

It’s one thing to cut out someone who is abusive or puts you in immediate danger. It’s another matter entirely to cut someone out of your life because they aren’t happy enough for you.

The urge to isolate people who are sad a lot of the time can be strong. Who wants to hang out with someone who is constantly bummed out? It can sap us of our energy, and I know that firsthand.

But cutting ties with someone just because they’re struggling shouldn’t be the first course of action. Establishing new boundaries, creating more space between you, encouraging this person to seek out other resources or supports, or changing the setting in which you hang out can all positively impact your friendship. Cutting ties should be a last resort, not your first choice.

•••••