Humor for a dreary day

From a the letters column of New Scientist magazine, Jan. 17, 2015

From Tim Stevenson in Prestwood, Buckinghamshire, UK
(regarding the view that the early bird catches the worm)
"let me point out the corollary that the early worm is caught by the bird."

From Ralph Reed of Coolamon, New South Wales, Australia
"Regarding the myth that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, the answer is simple - to a sufficiently old dog, there are no new tricks."