Saturday, March 01, 2014

The Paradox of Acceptance and Psychological Change

Also, telling someone who is suffering just to stop feeling what they are feeling is a put-down and a rejection.

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/ten-miles-square/2014/02/the_paradox_of_acceptance_and049260.php

February 28, 2014 8:45 AM
The Paradox of Acceptance and Psychological Change
By Keith Humphreys

Lindsay Holmes has penned a widely-circulated piece on what not to say to people with anxiety disorders. Many people respond to the chronically anxious with phrases like “Calm down”, “Why can’t you relax?” or “Just do it”. As she and I discussed, these well-intended responses often make people feel they have to fight to defend their anxiety to others, which makes their emotional state worse rather than better:

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If someone you love is suffering emotionally and you want it to stop, ordering them to change is likely only to generate mutual frustration. But being with them non-judgmentally in their suffering strangely enough can sometimes be the doorway to exiting it together.

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