Saturday, September 10, 2011

Perry Outlines Bold Proposal to Repeal Twentieth Century

http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/09/06/perry-outlines-bold-proposal-to-repeal-twentieth-century/

POSTED September 6, 2011

AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) – In a sneak preview of Wednesday night’s Republican presidential debate, Gov. Rick Perry of Texas today unveiled an ambitious plan to cut trillions from the Federal budget by repealing the twentieth century.

“Wasteful programs such as Medicare, Social Security, and school lunches for poor children all got their start in that infernal century,” the GOP frontrunner told an enthusiastic crowd of supporters in Austin. “So if you want to cut the budget, the only way to do that is for every man, woman and child in this country to travel back in time.”

While acknowledging that his proposal was unorthodox, Gov. Perry said he was confident that time-travel was possible because “I saw Superman do it in a movie one time.”

“And I’ve got someone even mightier than Superman to help me out with this,” he said. “Fella by the name of God.”

[...] [Rest of the article is just as good :)]

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