The Golden Rule at work

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/08/080825175039.htm

ScienceDaily (Aug. 25, 2008) — Anxious college freshmen can relax. No matter who will be sharing their dorm room, they have the power to make the relationship better, University of Michigan research suggests.
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"Roommate relationships can be really good or they can be really bad. And the fear is that they'll go from bad to worse," said Crocker, a social psychologist who studies how our own behavior and attitudes affect the kinds of relationships we experience. "But our study shows that you can create a supportive relationship and turn the stranger who's your roommate into a friend."
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Crocker and Canevello found that students who were invested in enhancing and protecting their own self-images were less likely to report that their relationships with their roommates were getting better.

An essential element in reducing loneliness and building a good roommate relationship involves moving away from what Crocker calls an 'ego-system' approach, in which people focus on their own needs and try to shore up their self-image, toward an 'eco-system' approach, in which people are motivated by genuine caring and compassion for another person.

"Basically, people who give support in response to another person's needs and out of concern for another person's welfare are most successful at building close relationships that they find supportive," Canevello said. "We get support, in other words, by being supportive."